Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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