please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
