Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
