Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My penis needs a shock collar
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
