I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
