I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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