just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
