I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
