summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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