I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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