Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Randomize
