I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
