ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
