finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
