you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
