Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
