i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
