Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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