i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize