Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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