How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize