Buhtt sex?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
