were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
