So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
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I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
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We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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