put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
