We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
