Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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