Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
