I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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