no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
