What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
