i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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