the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Randomize
