all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize