a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize