she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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