I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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