Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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