just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm like, not good at living.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize