i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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