I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
