I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize