So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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