Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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