I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
