Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize