I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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