Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize