I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
