Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Let the clothes fall where they may.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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