new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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