made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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