Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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