I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
