you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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