Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize