sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
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