dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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