I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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