Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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