woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize